Impression
by ShatteredKnightAnakinSkywalker
Summary: LxR AU. Tortured by past transgressions, Raito isn't sure he can save them both. Time is running out for the both of them and he's not sure he can handle losing him as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note**

**Characters: L, Raito and Misa**

**Pairings: RaitoxMisa and LxRaito**

**A/N: This story is extremely AU. Raito is NOT Kira, it'll be obvious in the story. And the characters may a bit off. Specially Raito since I'm trying to follow him as he is when he has no recollection of the Death Note. **

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**Impression**

**Chapter 1: Hotel**

"_I'd like you to accompany me on this investigation."_

_"…Alright."_

_"I'm not sure I want-"_

_"Outo-san don't worry. I'll be fine."_

"_And I think it would be less conspicuous if we brought along Amane-san."_

_"…I'm not so sure that's a good idea…I don't want her to get hurt."_

"_Please?"_

_"Fine…"_

**7:35pm Friday evening**

The doors closed behind the three young people. The slouched figure with the bare feet kept his gaze on the door. The tallest of the three frowned in annoyance. There was silence for some time before the dark haired man with the horrible posture moved away from the door. His feet slapped against the cold marble floor. The large hotel suite had more than enough room for the three of them, even with the increasingly wearing relationship between the two brunets. The blonde girl huffed uncharacteristically and sat on the large queen sized bed, falling onto her back with a thump.

The neatly dressed young man eyed her quietly but he was frowning not smiling as he usually did at the sight of her form. Instead of addressing her he turned his gaze to the slouched man who was currently analyzing a bunch of papers on a nearby computer desk. A laptop sat atop the brown desk and beside it lay a large stack of papers in several manila folders. The obsidian orbs turned to face his companion.

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

It took a moment for Yagami Raito to speak. He had moved beside the older man to look at the papers along with him. People were listed, profiles and pictures all stacked upon each other. Some profiles had more pages than others. Personality descriptions, body descriptions down to whether or not they liked the color blue. It was all alphabetical. There was another sheet with all the names of the people currently in the extremely expansive hotel.

"What…is all this?" Raito looked horrified.

"Information on everyone in this building, Raito-kun." replied the odd male with the tip of his thumb between his teeth.

There was rustling from the place where the blonde had laid. Her boots sounded on the floor. She looked curious and startled at Raito's expression. Straightening out her dress, the ditzy blonde looked over at the files. Arching a brow, her lips formed into a pout.

"Are we going to have to read all this?" she inquired. "I thought you said this was like a vacation, Raitoo!"

"Don't worry, Misa, Ryuuzaki and I are going to handle all of this."

Ryuuzaki's large owlish eyes stared at Misa as she walked back towards the bed and sat back down. The girl seemed slightly dejected but lay down again. Raito snapped his fingers which caught Ryuuzaki's attention. The warning look he gave earned him a sheepish smile in return. Turning back to the pages Raito flipped through it only to see his own face smiling back at him. It was a recent picture. One he had been taken while with Misa at the amusement park. Peeling his eyes away from his partly smiling face, Raito looked down the page. His age, date of birth, the day he had been admitted to the Task Force, everything was here. Raito took a deep breath. He could feel the fingers of panic reaching out to embrace him.

"Ryuuzaki, this was a bad idea."

L looked up at him from beneath his dark bangs. His large panda eyes calculated everything on the younger's face but he didn't comment. He merely gave a slight nod, but it wasn't in agreement. Raito knew the man too well. L flipped through more pages and shook his head slowly.

"Maybe…"

Raito stared at him for a while longer before sifting through his pile of papers. He was looking for Ryuuzaki's. If there was so much information on himself, then there had to be something on L. He nearly passed it with how fast he had been looking. His fingers stopped on the paper clipped picture. He pulled out the page and folded over the first paper. L's face was clearly younger in the picture but that's not what Raito was looking at. The name at the top of the page was Lawliet. Raito stared at it for a minute before scanning the rest of the page. The amount of sugar intake was written by his weight and Raito had to wonder how the man managed to be alive.

"Your name is Lawliet?"

Ryuuzaki froze in the middle of lifting a page from the desk. His head slowly turned towards Raito and the brunet turned the page towards the detective. His eyes widened even larger than Raito thought possible. His lips were quivering slightly before he turned his gaze back to Raito's face. He was at a lost for words for a moment, it was obvious. Ryuuzaki snatched the paper from Raito's hand between his index and thumb. Taking a look at the profile, Ryuuzaki frowned.

"I'm afraid you're right, Raito-kun, this was a bad idea. We may be in some trouble…"

Just as Ryuuzaki put down the paper, the television in the corner of the large room turned on. All three of them turned towards it. A cloaked man, with his face half covered in shadow, grinned at them from the screen. His perfectly straight white teeth glistened in the light cast on the uncovered part of his face.

"I'm sure you are all wondering why you are here and more importantly why we have documented information on the each of you." The anonymous man spoke in a deep voice which carried a slight accent in his Japanese. "All of you have been put in groups of three and have a copy of documents on the desk in each room. You have been given one laptop with limited internet connectivity and some have been equipped with a web cam."

There was a pause in his speech. The man pulled down his hood to reveal his face. Dark locks of black hair fell around the mans slender face. He looked to the side for a moment before continuing, once again facing a head.

"My group and I have been conducting tests on different groups of people from different countries. You all are test number 5." He paused for a moment. "None of you are allowed to leave your rooms. You will be given three meals a day with whatever else you request by room service. You shall be given one Death Note promptly at eight o'clock in the morning and they will all be collected at ten pm. Only one group will come out the victor."

The television set was shut off immediately after. Raito frowned, processing the information quickly. What had they meant by a Death Note? And why were they being held prisoners in the hotel room? Nothing made sense. The whole reason this investigation had been taking place was because the police were unable to find out what had happened to a mass number of people. They had all disappeared. These occurrences were world-wide, happening in multiple places at multiple times. It had attracted Ryuuzaki's attention from the beginning. They had been getting close to finding a suspect when suddenly the trail went cold. Raito had not suspected Ryuuzaki to take such a plan of action and go in himself, but he supposed it was the seriousness of the investigation. After all, Ryuuzaki concluded that Kira might be connected to this case as well.

"Ryuuzaki what did he mean by a Death Note?"

The panda eyes turned on Raito and for a moment he was silent. "If what he says is true, than we shall see soon enough, Raito-kun."

Raito nodded and glanced over a Misa who was frowning at the television set. Her pouty expression made him relax a little. Maybe explaining everything to Misa would help him get some ideas of his own. He was at a loss. He could not connect what was going on with what they had investigated before. However what the man had said about their group being the fifth test clicked. There had been several disappearances in the United States and then in Great Britain. The following months after had been quiet but then they started up again in Russia and China, finally coming into Japan. Ryuuzaki and Raito could not pin-point what group could possibly be doing something so massive. It was just like the Kira case, except now they had some more clues to work on.

"Raito, who was that man? And what was he talking about? Only one victor?" Misa's questions were the same ones going through Raito's head. He had no answers for her. Ryuuzaki was silent by his place at the files. This was definitely bad.

"I'm craving cheesecake. Would you like some Raito-kun?"

Raito blinked as his gaze quickly snapped to the dark haired male. The dull panda-eyes stared at Raito just as they always did, but Raito could see the odd tenseness in the older mans shoulders. He was afraid. Raito had never seen L this way before, maybe it was because people knew his name now. Raito was unsure. He shook his head in reply in which Ryuuzaki only shrugged and made his way to the small mini refrigerator in the corner of the room by the large windows. Raito made his way towards them, looking out on the expanse of the hotels grounds. There was nothing amazing about them and he didn't see anyone outside except for several guards at the very front gates. He could see the small black car which they had drove in a block away. The clink of a fork caught Raito's attention and he turned away from the window.

"Anything interesting, Raito-kun?"

"Were those guards there when we first entered the building?"

Ryuuzaki turned his gaze towards the window, lifting himself slightly where he sat. A slight frown creased his eyebrows and he shook his head. "No, it seems that they are taking extreme measures to keep their guests in this hotel."

Raito turned back to the computer desk. He fixed up the papers and sat down at the laptop. Sliding the lock and lifting open the Dell, Raito turned it on. It took a moment for the laptop to fully load but when it did, there was a password confirmation. He stared at it for a few moments. Each room was assigned a laptop, with or without a web cam. These laptops were probably matched to suit the guests staying in the room. With a frown, the young genius typed in his name. The red letters popped up above the white box asking to "try again". His frown deepened and he typed in Ryuuzaki's real name. He pressed enter and the screen loaded into the desktop.

"Aah!" Raito yelled toppling over his chair. The wallpaper was a picture of a painting. The grotesque face was smiling, an eerie smile that did not bode well with Raito at all. Ryuuzaki and Misa were by him in a few seconds. Misa gave a small giggle and Ryuuzaki simply stared at the monitor.

"He suuuure is ugly." Misa giggled again, smiling down at Raito. The brunet gave a scowl and stood up, refusing the hand that Ryuuzaki held out for him.

Brushing himself off, Raito sat back down staring directly into the yellow eyes of the blue demon. Directing his attention to the start button at the bottom left hand corner of the screen, Raito pulled up the documents on the laptop. The files were mainly cases that Ryuuzaki had solved himself. There was the ongoing Kira case in a separate folder from the others. Raito clicked on this one. There were several video clips and documents that Raito knew the police had access to. He recognized them well, he had gone over them himself millions of times before.

Pulling out from the file, Raito noticed there were several user files as well. He clicked the one with his own name on it and was shocked. There were all his school records, report cards, pictures he had taken. There were even newspaper photos as well as an article he wanted to never see again. He deleted the document, looking over his shoulder to make sure Ryuuzaki and Misa were not looking. There were similar files in Ryuuzaki and Misa's folders. He found it much easier for them to find all of Misa's information, seeing as she was a popular model yet Ryuuzaki's information he really wondered how they obtained it.

By the time Raito shut down the laptop, Misa had retreated to the second room in the suite. Ryuuzaki was flipping through channels of static on the television set. Several of them came on but none of them had the news. He shut it off and took a bite of his cheesecake. Raito watched him for a few moments before sitting down next to him with a sigh.

"Is there something wrong, Raito-kun?"

Raito shook his head, but didn't turn to face the detective. The young man beside him took another fork full of a cake. Fascinated for some odd reason, Raito watched the fork lift from the small plate up to the mouth. Ryuuzaki noticed this and paused to stare back. Raito blinked a few times and looked away. He was slightly embarrassed to have been caught staring but he couldn't help it. The way he held his fork and cut into the dessert was rather amusing. Even though he had known him now for nearly four years, Raito was still somewhat fascinated by him. His odd quirks still amused the younger man and annoyed him at the same time. Ryuuzaki was hard to get along with at times.

"If Raito-kun wanted some of my cheesecake, he could just ask."

Raito laughed a little. "No, I'm fine thank you." He let the rare smile linger on his lips for a few moments before resuming his usual stoic expression. "What do you make of these rules we're required to follow, Ryuuzaki?"

"They are unimportant, what you really wish to ask me is if I have any ideas on the Death Note, correct, Raito-kun?"

"Right as always…" Raito nodded briefly.

"I cannot say much on this "Death Note" except that I wish to see it for myself."

There was nothing else to be said on the matter and Raito felt a little annoyed. Taking a look at the clock ontop of the television set, Raito decided to head to bed. It was 2 o'clock in the morning. Nearly 6 hours since they had arrived.

**8:30am Saturday morning**

He had been awake for more than an hour. The black book that lay on the computer desk in the back of the room facing the door was the Death Note. He was unsure on whether or not to check it out. He was a cautious person and he was wary of the black book. Raito had a bad feeling about it. Ryuuzaki was examining the cover of the book, but he did not touch it either. Not yet. They were waiting to see if the television would turn on like the day before. However Raito was just about done waiting. He stepped up from his seat at the dining table and snatched the book from the computer desk. It felt like an ordinary notebook in his hands. The cover felt old and decrepit. He opened it, scanning the front page. It was back just like the front cover and hand written in something white were rules. Written in English. Ryuuzaki blinked and looked it over, holding his hand out for Raito to pass it over. Raito did and Ryuuzaki held it up to his eyes holding it by his index and thumb.

"The human whose name is written in this Note shall die." Ryuuzaki's dead pan voice sounded ominous.

"This has to be some sort of joke." Raito snorted as he took the notebook back from Ryuuzaki. The panda eyes stared at him and Raito knew Ryuuzaki was thinking the exact same thing. "From the looks of it, I own this Death Note."

Ryuuzaki looked over Raito's shoulder to examine the print. "Whoever's name you write in this Death Note shall die of a heart attack unless other wise specified…" Raito went along summarizing each rule the same way. "Any number of Death Notes may be in the human world at once."

"This seems like a very complex joke, Raito-kun." Raito had to agree with Ryuuzaki's statement.

Raito put down the Death Note and walked away from it. He paced for a few moments, thinking of the whole situation. Grabbing a pen from the desk as he walked back towards it, Raito opened up the notebook. He flipped the page with the rules and came to a blank white page. Frowning slightly he grabbed the files to the side of the table.

"So, if I were to write a name from these files here, that person would die?"

"According to the rules, Raito-kun."

"So lets say I wrote Misa's name into this, she would die of a heart attack in 40 seconds?"

"Assuming this is real."

Raito nodded. He had no intentions of putting Misa's name into the notebook. He had no intention of putting anyone's name into the Death Note. This was absurd. There was no possible way this was real, and if it was who in their right mind would use it? Raito put the pen down and shut the notebook again. There was a knock on the door and a female voice calling 'room service' from beyond it. The door opened and shut as soon as the woman walked through. She set the trays on the dining table and gave a polite goodbye. It was much too early to eat breakfast but Raito sat down with Ryuuzaki anyway.

**12:30pm Saturday afternoon**

Misa woke up at eleven and sat down at the table to eat. By eleven thirty she had decided to take a shower. She was finished by twelve and back in the main room with Raito and Ryuuzaki. Raito sat down next to her with the laptop on his lap. He was toying around with a connection to another computer in the building. The hacking was going well and he was sure that not many other people would be able to know how to deal with his hacking ability. He had on more than one occasion hacked into the Task force database for information on cases. He had not been successful in finding any computers with web cams and it was starting to get on his nerves. Raito had planned to keep tabs by using the web cam to look in on the occupants of each room. Very few computers seemed to have any sort of device connected to it. He had found a router in one room and had checked the files of that computer. The entire computer was absolutely empty. Raito finally took a break, shutting the laptop and placing it back on the computer desk. He stretched and made his way back to Misa. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Raito You're much too busy! Why don't you relax with me for a bit, hmmm?"

The suggestion was tempting but he had to refuse. The blonde pouted for a moment before her features suddenly froze. A hand reached up to her heart and she gasped. Her eyes were wide with fear, as she tightened her grip on her fiance's form. "R-Raito…!"

She went limp in his grasp. Raito was in shock. He didn't know what to do. His eyes looked over her still form. Her eyes stared up into space, glazed over. Placing her down on the floor, Raito tried to rememer the class he had taken for CPR. He pushed against her chest several times, franticly trying to revive her. One, two, three, breathe in, one, two, three, breathe in. The pattern went on for a few moments but she did not move. She didn't budge. Her eyes still stayed in their place staring at the ceiling. Raito stared down at her, his entire body in shock. His hands half-heartedly pressed against her chest but their movements slowed to a stop. Ryuuzaki had at some time came before him and was saying something but Raito didn't hear him. He stared up blankly at the older detective, watching his lips move but unable to hear the words. He was going down, he felt his body begin to shut down, escaping the reality which had suddenly turned against him.

They were going to get married. They had been engaged to get married in two months. But Amane Misa was dead and there was nothing Yagami Raito could do. Instead of his mind trying to rationalize anything it shut down.

"_Raito!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Kay. So Here's an uber long chapter. It totally makes up for the long wait. Hopefully. I'm not...too happy with it but heeey. What can I say. I've had major writers block with aaalll my fics. This one is the only one I could get an idea for. So be happy people. D**

**Chapter 2: Sedated**

**3:00 pm Monday afternoon**

"_Raito-kun? Are you…"_

"…_Here, Raito-kun…his."_

"…_To-kun, you…unwell."_

Consciousness returned slowly. Hazily he remembered bits an pieces of the day before. His brown eyes opened and he blinked a few times to clear his vision. He felt a little hot yet cold at the same time. Feverish was the exact word. He sat up abruptly, remembering what had sent him spiraling down into darkness. He shook his head and tried to speak but found that his throat was much too dry. He looked around the small room and grabbed the cup on the bedside table. Taking it in a shaking hand he took a sip of cold water. Raito put the cup back down and laid back on the bed. _Misa_.

He had met her in Aoyama nearly three and a half years ago while searching for the second Kira. He had thought she was a stalker when she went up to meet him, already having known his name. She explained to him that she was no stalker and she merely heard one of his friends call him by name. Even though he found her quite the unintelligent one, he was attracted to her. Maybe it was her innocence in the way she carried herself. However she did hold some intelligence, she wasn't entirely stupid, she was able to eventually figure out he was working with L. Raito decided it had just been gradual. His affection for her had been like that of his sister and had become even more than that. There date at the amusement park had been the day he had proposed to her almost a year ago. Maybe it was strange to get married so early but he couldn't help but feel right about it.

But now she was dead.

Raito got up from the bed on somewhat shaky legs to go to the bathroom. Thankfully it was empty and Ryuuzaki was somewhere else in the suite. He quickly undressed and entered the shower turning the knob to hot. The steam soon poured around him as the scalding water hit his body. He hissed slightly and turned the cold on to counter-act the hot. _That was stupid._ The thought was brief and he exited the shower five minutes after, leaving the small room to dress in the one he left.

Ryuuzaki was sitting in front of the television with his legs pulled up to his chest and his thumb in his lips. His coal orbs glanced towards Raito but he didn't say anything for a few moments. It was possible because Raito looked a little sick, his damp hair sticking to his pale skin. He sat beside Ryuuzaki in the couch, leaning his head forward to massage at the headache already beginning to form behind his eyes.

"How long was I…unconscious, Ryuuzaki?"

The detective stared at whatever channel he had on, probably waiting on the man to show up on screen any minute. "38 hours and a half, Raito-kun. It seems Amane-san's death affected you much more than I thought it would."

Raito had no comment to that statement. He didn't want to start arguing. He didn't feel up to it at the moment. Raito simply shook his head and stood up. The mini fridge was completely stocked again, however a large portion of the sweets had already been consumed by Ryuuzaki. Reaching into the small refrigerator, Raito pulled out a wrapped sandwich. It wasn't something he would normally eat but he went to sit back down by Ryuuzaki again anyway. Taking a bite of his sandwich, Raito watched the television set blankly. His mind was back on Misa and the way she looked, how she felt, the warmth still in her body. Looking down at the sandwich again he suddenly felt the need to vomit and pushed the plate away. Letting the feeling fade, Raito stood up from his place.

"Where's the notebook?"

Ryuuzaki held it up by the tips of his fingers. His eyes were calculating on Raito now but he was quiet. The younger male opened up the notebook and grabbed a pen taking one of the pages from the computer desk as he walked around. Coming back to sit down by Ryuuzaki, Raito's hand shook as he began to write the name down. If this worked he was worse than Kira. He didn't even know how he would know if it worked or not.

"Ryuuzaki did anything happen after….M-Misa died?" His throat caught on her name and he had to force it off his lips. Raito frowned at the weakness. It was unbecoming.

"It was announced on the television, Raito-kun. It seems that after each day, everyone who has been murdered is listed. So far there were 24 people killed."

Raito stiffened. It meant that someone had written Misa's name into the Death note. Someone had murdered her. It wouldn't be long till they murdered the two of them as well. Raito shivered. He could feel himself losing control and he had to take a deep breath to keep from possibly fainting again-or worse a panic attack.

Over the years he had begun working with Ryuuzaki and the Task Force on the Kira case, Raito found that his immunity to the crimes committed had worn off after the loss of his sister. Sayu had been abducted, managing to become apart of one of these many experiments. They had been so close that day to getting her back. One mistake, one fatal error on Raito's part had sent the entire mission in failure. Although his father had not blamed him, Raito would always blame himself and it was no different than this. He had never been susceptible to stress beforehand but it was probably the sight of his sisters dead body that caused his first panic attack. He would never admit it to anyone, it had been an isolated incident that had not happened for a long time but then again he could feel the slip in control. And Yagami Raito hated not being in control.

Ryuuzaki's voice took him out of his thoughts. The older man was frowning slightly, the only way to discern that he was either confused or concerned. Raito blinked a few times to focus himself and smiled apologetically.

"Are you okay, Raito-kun?" The large panda-eyes were calculating. He could almost hear L's voice in his ear, _"You are becoming a liability."_

"I'm fine, Ryuuzaki, I just need to figure out what to do. How are we going to figure out who is doing the killings?"

"Well Raito-kun, I believe we would have to start looking through those profiles. We must find someone with a personality that would most likely be fit for a killer."

"But Ryuuzaki, there's tons of pages, we could be dead by the time we find out who it is."

Ryuuzaki sighed looking down at the array of colorful treats laying across the coffee table. Raito glanced down at the sugary substances as well and was disgusted by the thought of food. "I'm clearly aware of that Raito-kun."

Raito took a moment to think. There had to be something they could do. He knew there was something they could do. Maybe if one of them tried to make it outside of the room. Then they could contact Watari from a phone. Service on the cell phones were slim to none. It was the only thing Raito could think of. He supposed it would have to be after the Death Note was taken away at ten. Raito rubbed at his temple.

"What if we try to sneak out of this room? I'm sure we can contact Watari and we have more than enough evidence to hold everyone here under investigation."

Ryuuzaki didn't speak for a moment. A digit covered in sugar was being licked clean by the detective and Raito smothered his disgust. One of the many things that annoyed him about Ryuuzaki was his obvious disregard for table manners. "I'm afraid, they may kill us."

He had that expression, the one of utter perplexity. It would have been comical had the situation not been so serious. Raito had had that same exact thought but there was nothing else he could think of. He could continue his search on the laptop of those with web cameras, he had enough time. Or they could just take names from the pile sitting beside him and randomly write them into the notebook. Raito _liked_ that idea. That thought alone scared him but he held onto it as their last hope.

"The pattern by which the killings had taken place was in alphabetical order." Ryuuzaki suddenly spoke. "Alphabetical order by last name. If he continues this way it is possible that we have enough time to make a workable plan. You have a longer amount of time than I do, Raito-kun, your name is the second to last name on the list."

"Don't start saying that now, Ryuuzaki, we'll figure it out before he gets to your name."

Raito was determined to keep that promise. He was in no way going to let Ryuuzaki die as well. Misa already had been a harsh blow, he didn't know if he could take it if the detective died as well. Looking down at his sandwich once more, Raito tried to force himself to eat. It wasn't good to go so long without food. It took him sometime but he managed to eat the sandwich. However it didn't feel like it was going to stay down. Raito sighed as he rubbed his temples wearily. He guessed he could try and get out of the room at ten. That was the first plan he would try. Somehow, Raito didn't they were going to kill them if they tried to escape. That was the whole point of the experiment after all.

"Ryuuzaki, tonight I'm going to try and sneak out of this room. I'm sure as long as you are here nothing will happen to you."

"Raito-kun, I don't want you to end up hurt in this."

"Ryuuzaki, it's the only thing right now that might work. I can get some information to you even if I don't end up escaping."

"But what if they kill you, Raito-kun? Then I will have to carry on this investigation alone. I will have to tell Yagami-san his son was being suicidal."

"I'm not being suicidal!" Raito frowned at Ryuuzaki angrily. This was ridiculous. He wasn't being suicidal at all! He was trying to get them out of this mess. "I'm trying to get us out of here. I'm trying to make sure you won't die!"

Ryuuzaki blinked and gave a tiny smile. "So Raito-kun does care?"

"Wha-? Ryuuzaki, that's not the point!" Raito seethed, knowing the older man was just trying to get on his nerves. The bad thing was, it was working. Their faces were rather close now, Raito's fierce angry eyes staring into the black obsidian ones. Raito would have pulled away had he seen what was coming next. Ryuuzaki leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Raito's lips. For a moment, the younger man was too shocked to say or do a thing. However after a few moments, Raito leapt up to his feet and stare at Ryuuzaki. _Green eyes stared directly into is own, and lips drifted directly to his own kissing him, even as he tried to turn away._ Raito shivered slightly and looked away.

"What was that for?" A soft blush crossed his cheeks in embarrassment.

"I apologize Raito-kun, I can see you did not take well to my display of affection." Ryuuzaki dead panned, a tiny smile on his normally expressionless visage.

"I just…didn't know you were into that type of thing, Ryuuzaki." Raito bit out the comment wanting nothing more than to say that he had been repulsed. But truth was, he wasn't. Just confused. The kiss had merely dredged up a few unwanted memories of his repercussions for looking too much like a pretty boy.

The smile was gone and Ryuuzaki merely gave a small shrug to the idea. Honestly, orientation had never really crossed his mind. He wasn't sexually promiscuous in any fashion, so he never had bothered to give any attention to the matter. "I suppose I've never thought about it, Raito-kun."

Raito took a deep breath and sat back down, farther away from Ryuuzaki, without even noticing he'd done so.

**9:40 Monday evening**

Raito had mulled over the idea for the past few hours. There was nothing else he could do. They searched through the papers unsure of what they were really looking for. They had not even made a dent. Raito watched as the clock ticked slowly by from 9:40 to 9:41. The time was strange. Raito looked back down at their stack of papers and pushed them away. Once ten o'clock came he could sneak out of there. Ryuuzaki would distract them with some sort of comment and he would slip out the open door. Ryuuzaki, although not entirely happy with the plan, had told him they left the door open when they entered. There were two of them and they only came in for five minutes. They looked like businessmen but their faces were covered with a mask. Ryuuzaki was unsure how to distract them.

Raito leaned against the wall by the television. He could slip by much more easily towards the door. His feet were without shoes, simply a pair of socks so he didn't make that much noise. At exactly ten o'clock, the door was opened and two men walked in. Just as they had rehearsed, Raito slid right behind them and out the door as soon as Ryuuzaki made his comment. _"I was wondering where could I possibly find those masks. They're intriguing."_

Once in the hallway, Raito had to find a crevice to hide in. The men would be outside of the room in only a few minutes so he had to make sure they didn't see him. Ryuuzaki would say he was in the shower, the water was on after all. Tip-toeing quickly down the hall, Raito tried to find his way to the lobby. There would definitely be a phone there. Checking his pockets, Raito felt the change stopping it from clanging around. The sound of footsteps forced him into a dark corner. They soon faded and he made his way down the halls once more. Everything was brown. The lights were dimmed, better for him to sneak around. There was a staircase going down so Raito slipped down as quietly as possible.

The lobby was empty save for a few plants and decorations. Raito looked around, finally seeing the desk where the knew the phone to be. Rushing forward Raito jumped over the reception desk and crouched behind it. The phone was atop the desk behind the front counter. He reached up for it and pulled it down, dialing the number of Watari's cell phone. He had been given the number just before the mission in the case that something happened to L. After the second ring the old man finally picked up.

"Watari, they've locked down the hotel and will not allow anyone in side or out side."

In the black car parked a block away, Watari glanced at the large hotel where Raito and Ryuuzaki were. His eyes were narrowed as he listened to Raito on the other end. It was obvious the boy had done something drastic. There had been no change to the outside of the building for the past few days that he had come back and forth. He was never far away incase something indeed did happen.

"If you can find a way to get us out, we have enough evidence to put this entire hotel under lock down and arrest everyone."

"I am doing everything I can." came the reply before static came over the phone. Hands grabbed him by the hair, pulling him out roughly from behind the counter. Raito yelped as several masked guards pulled him over the counter.

"Defying orders." One of the men said beneath the mask. His voice was deep but muffled. "Send him to the chamber to be punished. Kira will surely kill him for his defiance."

Raito's eyes were wide as he struggled against the men holding him. However, from the other side of the lobby, coming down from the upper rooms was the man he had seen on the television a few nights before. He was smiling.

"Ah. Yagami Raito. I expected something like this from you." His eyes narrowed as he came closer. All the while, Raito was feeling more and more uncomfortable. The closeness of the men around him was causing him to lose his control. His breathing was coming a little ragged even as he tried to regulate it.

"Calm down, Yagami-san. You've had two panic attacks in your life time and you do not like the contact of others all that much, I wonder why. You are extremely intelligent and you work for the NPA. Extremely valuable." At this point, one of the men tightened his grip. "He'll be sent to his room. Feel free to do what you wish, but I will not allow this one to be put to death. He may be an asset to us yet."

The butt of a gun smacked him on the back of his head, twice, and Raito fell unconscious.

**Monday evening 11:45PM **

Ryuuzaki sat in front of the television, quietly wondering where Raito was. He flipped through the rules of the Death Note once more, trying to find some sort of way that they could use it to tell them who Kira was. Picking up the notebook between two fingers, Ryuuzaki frowned. From the corner of his eye he saw something by the window.

Turning his head to face the intruder. Wide eyes met with those of the demon looking creature he had seen as the desktop on the computer.

"Hi." the gravelly voice of the Shinigami greeted, a smile so wide on his face it should have been for a clown. Ryuuzaki continued to stare.

"I suppose you are the Shinigami attached to this notebook?"

"Yup." he nodded. "My name is Ryuuk."


	3. Chapter 3

**GASP! An update! I forgot to do this last chapter. **

**Characters:**

**Raito**

**L**

**Warnings: Quite a few, here. We have some violence, not extremely graphic but enough, mention of non-con aaand some...other things. **

* * *

**Chapter 3: Remembrance**

**Tuesday morning 3:26AM**

_The voice over the computer said so far, Sayu was alive. His fathers voice reassured Raito. Kira had not killed his sister yet. It was a chilling discovery when they found out she had been taken, and by Kira no less. Raito had decided to guide his father into the surrounded hotel. Apparently they had enough information to put it on lock down. What information, he didn't know for certain. Matsuda had a wire tap on him and although not with Sayu he knew where she was in the building. Raito had laid out a map of the entire complex before him and his father as well as Aizawa, and Mogi had gone in. A team of police officers were standing as back-up near by. _

_Unfortunately Raito hadn't seen the trick, and L had pointed it out minutes before the entire thing happened. Computer screens turned off as their surveillance was suddenly cut. All they could hear was Matsuda's heavily breathy voice over the wire tap. He wasn't saying anything directly to them but he was talking, sounding more out of breath by the minute. They could vaguely hear tears in his voice but he managed to mask them quite well. Raito wished they could get a visual but everything he tried ended up in failure. A text message from his father confirmed his fears, they had locked the police inside the building and there was no way of getting out. Apparently the windows were bullet proof. L had been silent before springing up from his chair and making a call to Watari. Aiber and Wendy would be there momentarily to see if there is any need of assistance. Wendy could probably get the surveillance back on, she had been the one to put it up after all. The wire-tap on his father was sending the few words that Soichiro himself was saying._

"_Kira!" _

_Matsuda's voice was clear over the tap before suddenly static began engulfing the sound. The words were jumbled and another voice was coming through the tap, nearly audible but not quite. It sounded almost metallic when the few words the man was saying came through. Interference from another electrical device was causing the static and Raito was feeling dread coil into the pit of his stomach._

"_P…Sorr…you…win." A pause and something that sounded like jarbled screaming. Matsuda had been caught by Kira. "I…know…nothi…." _

_Something else came from the wire-tap on his fathers side. "Wait! Don't open that-"_

_An explosion, from what Raito couldn't tell. Helplessly they stared. Confirmation came over the computer of Aiber's and Wendy's arrival. The explosion had come from the left side of the building and the debris had collapsed in. Raito held his breath. Nothing was coming from either Matsuda or his fathers wiretaps. L was in constant contact with Watari, Aiber and Wendy, relaying information as it came in. His toneless voice was speaking so fast Raito had a hard time catching the words. Matsuda's wire-tap was first to come up._

"_S-Sayu?" It was clearer now and Raito perked up. It had been the first time that he had heard his sisters name in over an hour and he wanted to know if she was okay. "Oh…Fuck."_

_And then his fathers voice almost seconds after. "There's no sign of anyone here…a few of the hostages have been freed. Is there any word on Sayu?"_

_Matsuda sounded terrible, and the sound of his voice over the tap was nearly non-existant. "Kira's…gone and…Sayu…"_

_Wendy managed to get the video feed up at that exact moment. Raito stared in shock at the terrible mess that was the hotel. His eyes went from one screen to the other until it finally landed on Matsuda's face and Sayu's still…unmoving body. "I know who Kira is--" And suddenly the video feed on that screen went black. Raito was moving numbly towards the computer speaker to hear if Matsuda said anything else but all he could hear was terrible, muffled screaming. _

_The mission had been a failure and Sayu…Sayu was dead. _

_Raito managed to stay with L until his father and the others came back. Matsuda was at a hospital and they weren't sure when he would be able to come back. Soichiro's grief stricken face had been the breaking point. Raito could see his sisters face, slack and gray in his minds eye. He excused himself and resisted running. He entered the quiet, hall and entered the room he and L shared, locking it purposefully behind him. There he had broken down, first feeling laughter bubble at the back of his throat until it turned into sobs where he found himself unable to breathe. Panic, that's what he had felt, pure panic. When later L had found him unconscious he had said nothing. He woke up and was quiet, only remarking that "The floor isn't a good place to sleep Raito-kun, maybe you should use the bed next time" And although it had been a jest Raito couldn't help the tears that nearly sprang to his eyes. _

_In his head he was screaming._

Raito woke up with the lousiest headache in the world, almost quite sure that it was more of a concussion than a headache. He didn't remember being carried to this room. Perhaps one of Kira's lackey's had brought him here. His body hurt with a number of uncounted bruises. Raito groaned, eyes still closed, he didn't want to open them. The dream lingered in his mind and he sighed softly, he hadn't dreamt of that in a long time. Nausea was biting at him sickeningly and the urge to vomit was becoming even more prominent. He waited a few moments before he picked himself up to open his eyes. The room he was in was empty, there wasn't any furniture anywhere. Thankfully, he didn't throw up but his head was pounding way too much. Foot steps made there way towards him and he looked up at the person they belonged to. The man wore a white mask, it being heavily accentuated by his jet black hair. Thin, long, pale, fingers combed through that black hair only momentarily.

"You think you can disobey Kira…Yagami-san"

Raito stared, slowly getting to his feet, using the wall by him as a leverage. He leaned back against it, features schooled to keep calm although in his mind he wondered what this man was planning to do. It was apparent that he wasn't to be killed but punishment had not been rejected as a choice. Hands flat against the white wall behind him, Raito tried to stay as far away from the unknown man before him. _Is this Kira? _With only a few steps the masked man was in front of him, one hand coming up to meet Raito's face. The young mans breath hitched at the near contact and from the way his voice changed, Raito could tell he was smiling.

"I've been…watching you for quite some time." His voice was light, as though they were talking about something trivial. "And I have to say, you put up quite an act…"

The man shifted, leaning further against Raito. A dark chuckle escaped from his throat and the mask shifted slightly. Raito turned his face, trying to push himself into the wall behind him as hands treaded through his soft hair. His breathing was controlled, panic cold in his mind as he forced himself to be calm. The man wasn't doing anything…not yet.

"What he did to you Raito-kun…?" the voice was soft but far from comforting. The hand that had previously been leaning against the wall by Raito's head had moved to linger just away from the young mans body. "Did he…touch you…here?" The hand moved between them, cupping Raito's crotch and squeezing painfully. Eyes widened slightly as his breath hitched once more in discomfort. The man suddenly had both hands on Raito's head and in a gruff, demanding voice forced him to kneel.

"_Cute." The teacher smiled at him even though he never smiled back. Yamato Fuji was a nice teacher but he didn't deserve preferential treatment. The child, almost a teenager now that he was just becoming thirteen in a few days. A hand ruffled his hair and his eyes looked up at his teacher expectantly. The door closed in the class room. Raito wondered why the man was closing the door. They were just going to talk about his school work and possibly skipping grades. Raito liked that idea, he wouldn't have to deal with so many idiots. Things wouldn't be so **boring**. _

Eyes widened as the zipper was pulled down and the man was half naked before him. He forced his gaze away, thoughts racing in the back of his mind. He had been just a kid and he had wanted that man dead so badly as he grew older. Kira had killed that man. Kira had done something he as a detective could not. But Kira's ideals were wrong because a God doesn't allow these things to happen right under his nose. There was no such thing as such a God. The thoughts came to a stop as he was shoved onto the man's exposed genitals. Thrusting in and out of his mouth, the man's moaning above caused Raito to sob, choking. He was soon shoved to the side after a few moments and he was left on the floor, shaking terribly. _"You have such nice lips Raito…I just want to __**kiss**__ them"_ He could hear the man snickering from the far corners of his mind where he knew where he was and he knew just how **pathetic** he looked. He could feel himself slipping slowly into oblivion as he wished for nothing more than to forget. The sound of another man's voice was faint but still discernible.

"You idiot!" Raito could almost see him but his vision was blurring. "How dare you disobey me?!"

"God!" Terror. "He deserved to be punished!"

"Have fun in the afterlife."

"_**No! Please, God, I beg you, I'm sorry!"**_

Raito closed his eyes.

**Tuesday Afternoon 1:26PM**

L had been sitting on his chair for nearly seven hours. He had not gotten up from his chair for any substance as it was all spread out beside him on the coffee table. The Death Note lay untouched on the couch beside him as he stared blankly at the television screen. It was off, and had been for many hours. The last thing it had broadcasted was another twenty more victims, just closer to his own name. L had looked through many of the profiles in the pile on the computer desk and had managed to pick out several that fit the criteria for a murderer. If Raito got back alive, they would be able to make a better plan, one that wouldn't have Raito in captivity.

The Shinigami had been quiet ever since its arrival. The lanky, demon-looking, god had laid down on the couch and idly taken apples from the coffee table. The surrounding candies and treats had gone untouched by the long digits and Ryuuzaki was more than pleased for that. It's habits seemed strange but L had ignored them. Without turning his attention towards the apple eater, Ryuuzaki took a cookie between his index and thumb before parting his lips to speak.

"What is your purpose for being here, Shinigami?" It was a simple question that L could answer easily. Taking a bite from the sugar cookie, the detective waited for the answer.

"Hm?" The forever grinning Shinigami turned to face L. "I will be here until the owner of my Death Note dies or gives up ownership. So far it seems like no one has written in it yet. You aren't the owner. Where's the other guy that's supposed to be here?"

"I don't know." Three words that L never said without being lie. It was odd that he was telling the truth for once. Glancing at the door, Ryuuzaki almost felt a pang of guilt but it was soon overshadowed by the fact that Raito had volunteered himself. The young man wanted to help and he was. L wondered what he would have to say to Soichiro Yagami if his son was dead. "I'm sorry but your son was being suicidal and decided to take on an entire deadly organization of murderers." Ryuuzaki doubted that would be a very nice meeting.

"Oh." The smile turned to a slight frown. "This already sounds **boring**."

Boring indeed. L didn't know what to do at all. He was at a loss as to what he **could** do. It felt somewhat like the years before when Kira was framing Raito. The boy had the exact profile for righteous murder, he was intelligent and believed that criminals should die. But eventually, Ryuuzaki found that the boy was not Kira and his girlfriend was just a pretty, stupid, model. Ryuuzaki had been sorely disappointed but on the side he knew there had to be a connection between the two of them. If Kira was framing Raito as the bit of evidence suggested, then Raito had to know this person. There had to be something that had gone on between them in the past that L was missing.

Before Raito had joined the small team of investigators on the Kira Case, L had made to profile every aspect of him and had noticed quite a few flaws to his perfection. He, for one, did not like the touch of another person. L had found that intriguing at first and then worrisome later on. The only touching he allowed was from Sayu, before she was murdered, and Misa. Ryuuzaki speculated that his mother was also allowed a hug or two. The detective knew, from observing the boy so closely over the years, that his phobia of contact was directed _mostly_ towards males. Although, after some thorough research done by Watari, there had been no reason for the youth to act in such a manner. It was obvious that whatever had lead to this kind of behavior had been kept secret. L was quite certain what the reason was, his theory circulating sexual assault or physical abuse by a man. Perhaps a teacher, because it seemed that Raito was rather reluctant to participate in any case involving schools and children. At the mention of any assault case Raito was rather…hesitant to go over the evidence.

The Kira case had been so very close to apprehending a suspect and Raito had made a fatal, fatal, mistake. L didn't voice it aloud and never would due to the fact that his own sister had died in that situation, but Raito had been the cause of their not finding Kira. Although L knew it was a minor set back, it had been a set back none the less. When Ryuuzaki had found him laying on the floor in the bedroom they shared, he had known the young man had not been their simply because he had fainted. No, Raito had suffered a minor panic attack. Ryuuzaki never mentioned anything about it but he always thought that Raito's behavior after seeing his sister dead was terrible. He hid his feelings just as he had before but Ryuuzaki could see the cracks better. Misa had served to help Raito recover and now she was dead as well.

The sound of the Shinigami's laughter broke L's thoughts and the detective looked over at the lanky creature.

"There's someone coming…_hyuk hyuk hyuk."_

The door was pushed open and Raito Yagami was thrown into the living area. Scrambling to his feet the young man stared at the still open door before it was closed and tiredly collapsed back on his butt. Ryuuzaki hopped off the chair and made his way towards the very frazzled Raito. Blinking owlish eyes at the young man, Ryuuzaki stood extremely close to him.

"I…contacted Watari…" Raito stared at Ryuuzaki. "But they got me before I could finish…"

L frowned, at least he knew of their situation. He watched as the young man got up and left the room. He supposed they could continue on the work later.


End file.
